betting on trains - hem. listen. amazing.

i talked to two friends from chile this week - so good. so good to hear their voices, to catch up, to confirm that we are in fact "real life" friends, not just travel buddies. but i miss chile - the people, the excitement, and what the trip meant. i'm still getting used to being back, and moving on.

speaking of, i am in the process of moving on. in the middle of all sorts of lasts, as my friend kate would call them - i don't know if you do this, but i am always counting down. tonight is my last friday night in my house. it was my last day at work today (which was a job that i was kind of sad to leave), i had my last class at frank's on wednesday. i'll be thinking about my last shower here, my last run of the dishwasher... yes, i'm weird.

but these lasts aren't so difficult - it's the last time i see my sister for a while that's going to be hard.

i'm looking forward to not having a car (holy smokes, i filled up at $4.18 a gallon tonight), watching G4TV again, meeting new people, talking to Annette in the same timezone, and drinking good coffee and beer.

i have a lot of work to do tonight - packing up, cleaning and deciding what to keep and what to send out in august/september. will i still be there? *shrugs shoulders* we'll see.

p.s. a little post-script. none of this happens without a little faith in myself. which is something i haven't had in a long time, and it's changing everything.

t-minus

less than one month, and i'm off to portland, oregon to have a go at life in the pacific northwest. it's been an interesting month back from chile - one where i've found myself torn between missing chile and looking forward to portland. sometimes difficult to be in the moment.

so i'm sitting at home tonight, in an incredibly clean house, and celebrating the fact that i sold it today. holy smokes, i still can't believe it.

a friend asked me on thursday night if i had been praying about moving to oregon, considering that i don't know very many people and don't have a job. and yes, i tell god about all the crazy things i'm up to, but i can't say i ever "heard" god say, yes, go to portland. then again, i didn't hear god say, yes, go to chile.

however, my house just sold. i have a place to live in portland for two months when i get there. i found a job within one week of getting back to grand rapids, for exactly the amount of time i'll be here before i leave. and everyone i've talked to is happy for me, and has great things to say about portland.

somewhere i read that god says no a lot more than he says go. but you have to step out first.