she ponders

enough

2011-01-12T10:26:00.000-08:00

i know a great writer and sweet woman named shauna - she and i were neighbors for a couple of years in grand rapids and we share a really amazing friend who lives in california. shauna is smart and funny and most of all, honest. her books - cold tangerines and bittersweet - are fun to read and push me to be reflective and purposeful. i remember finishing cold tangerines and making a resolution to be more celebratory about life (basically means i want to throw more parties!).

today she wrote a post on her blog, and i loved it. it's about having enough - in both the positive and negative ways. i've felt like i've had enough (like i can't handle any more) and then been reminded that i actually do have exactly what i need. and i know i'll come to those times again. so if you're feeling like you're at the end of your rope, read it. and know that you're not alone.

homemade

2010-12-23T18:42:00.001-08:00

so i've been making stuff lately. lots of good dinners and baked goods, and then this weekend, i made chapstick. yup, real chapstick. and it doesn't taste like plastic.

my sister-in-law has a sweet blog all about natural living and homemaking. It's pretty interesting and gives me lots of good ideas, like the chapstick, which was inexpensive and easy.

the other night i had a beef stew from martha stewart in the oven and baked my favorite almond cookies. almond paste is kind of expensive, but so worth it - and requires a visit to the dutch store. hup holland!

a couple of recent favorites:

pasta with pancetta and leeks from the pioneer woman: oh my this woman knows how to dress up the noodles. you will never be the same.

sausage and mushroom ragu from cooking light: added a little red wine to the sauce and pan-fried rounds of polenta. amazing and more importantly, easy.

page cxvi

2010-12-16T09:44:00.000-08:00

My husband loves to worship. He plays the guitar and used to lead worship at his church and loves good bands. He gets into his music. He also loves songs about the Lord and for the Lord that actually say something rich and meaningful. It's one of my favorite things about him.

When we were dating, he sent me this one song in particular - a version of Doxology by this band called Page CXVI. Strange name - we used to just call them "pages" or "page cxcvvcxicmi" - which I later found out was a quote from a CS Lewis book (see below).

Anyway, the arrangement is beautiful. Rich. Layered and delicate, but so powerful. We wanted to incorporate into our wedding, but in the end decided not to. Then last week, we saw them live at a house concert. They ended with Doxology, saying that they had sung it in their wedding. So rad!

Page CXVI basically took songs I have sung for years and made them new again. Check them out...

And, from their website about the name of the band:
The name comes from a reference to page 116 in our copy of The Magician’s Nephew by C.S. Lewis. It is a poignant passage where Aslan begins to sing Narnia into creation out of a black void.

It starts, “In the darkness something was happening at last. A voice had begun to sing. It was very far away and Digory found it hard to decide from what direction is was coming. Sometimes it seemed to come from all directions at once. Sometimes he almost thought it was coming out of the earth beneath them. Its lower notes were deep enough to be the voice of the earth herself. There were no words. There was hardly even a tune. But it was, beyond comparison, the most beautiful noise he had ever heard. It was so beautiful he could hardly bear it.”
~ C.S. Lewis

i want to read this

2010-12-14T15:38:00.000-08:00

Calvin College, my alma mater, hosts the January Series every year and I'm always interested in who they find to come speak at a small college in Michigan in one of the coldest months of the year. Maybe they just want to enjoy a little (or A LOT) of snow.

So the list this year is okay - they have one of the cofounders of Kiva which will probably be interesting. But if I were there, I would be sure to see Father Boyle, a Jesuit priest who wrote a book about the work he's done with gang members in Los Angeles. The book is called Tattoos on the Heart - The Power of Boundless Compassion. It's been on the bestseller list for the LA Times for a while. And I love books about sociology. Getting from the library now.

A couple others I've read that I recommend:

Gang Leader for a Day - about a sociology major in South Chicago who gets the inside scoop on drug dealing and gangs

Whatever It Takes - about Geoffrey Canada and his quest for good education in Harlem

Relentless Pursuit - follows a group of new graduates who dive headfirst into teaching through the intense Teach for America program

how would you respond?

2010-03-19T12:52:00.001-07:00

I get an email from DailyWorth a few times a week - it's a website about financial knowledge and strategies directed towards women. Sometimes the emails are strictly informative - how does a 401k work? - and sometimes they address specific situations women (especially working women) deal with. Most of it is pretty interesting and informative, and valuable for any adult.

This week, the topic was Ending the Superwoman Syndrome. And I know this is complicated - my roommates and I have discussed this at length, wondering where the idea came from, how much we've actually believed it and what choices we're going to make to not succumb to the myth that we can have it all.

So I was interested in what this woman had to say. Clearly, she did not find it fulfilling to be Superwoman, but how did she fix it? What were her thoughts on making choices? What ones did she make and why?

I read her article, and here's what I gleaned, based on the details of her life that she provided: she made her choices, and now she is a single parent with a successful business. She also has less stress and makes great money.

In the comments, I asked her what she was looking for, ultimately. Was it money? Less stress? I said it sounded like her business was more successful than her marriage, and wondered if maybe the focus has swung from one extreme - focusing solely on everyone else - to the other, focusing on only ourselves.

I got a couple of rebuttals in the comments - and I'll admit, I don't know the author's situation. But if she did choose her business, great money, less stress over working on her marriage or sacrificing for her son, I'm worried. And I want to know if we truly understand what we're choosing to have, and what we're choosing to give up.

Happy day

2010-01-30T10:52:00.000-08:00

I had my first cup of coffee in nearly three weeks this morning. And it was so good. Truthfully, the detox we have been doing was not that bad. (Maybe I say that now because it's over? Who knows...) It was annoying not to be able to eat dinner when I wanted, and to have to make all of my own food. But I was rarely hungry, and I have not felt so good in many, many months. I would recommend it to anyone who wants to take themselves out of the maybe not-so-healthy routine of eating that we find ourselves in (ahem, Taco Bell - you know who you are), to listen to their bodies and think about where food comes from and why we eat it.

I thought a lot about my friend David, who is voluntarily going on a raw diet to combat the cancer wrapping itself around his brain, and writes about how he had to confront his emotional attachment to food, and find where his true source of comfort comes from. And I thought a lot about people who just don't have much food, and eat whatever they can get, whenever they can get it. It's pretty crazy when you think about the amount and types of food that we have at our fingertips - and how much we often throw away.

All that to say, I had french fries last night, and I baked a chocolate cake this morning for a birthday party tonight. And I will appreciate every bite.

Three more things:

1) The Livesay Blog - an amazing blog about service and faith from a Minnesota family doing work for Christ in Haiti. I started at the beginning, but their perspective about what's going on right now is powerful.

2) Valley of Vision: a gift from my friend Logan, also happens to be one of my boyfriend's favorites. It's an old book of Puritan prayers, and while it's a little King James sometimes, the prayers are beautiful, and convicting. Check it out.

3) My nephew who just learned to walk. Also lovingly referred to as "Frankenstein".

deep breath

2010-01-16T11:39:00.000-08:00

This has been a wild week. Erica (my roommate) and I started a detox/cleanse called "Clean" which requires a major change to our diet, schedule and time commitments. Today is Day 6 (out of 21), and I'm happy to say I'm feeling good, but it's not been easy. We are making everything we eat which, unfortunately, is so foreign to us. Smoothies for breakfast and dinner are good (but not as satisfying as solid food), and then lunch is usually chicken or fish with veggies and brown rice/quinoa.

The last day of the cleanse is Erica's birthday party (can't wait!) but it might be more of a cannonball than an ease back into real food. We'll see how it goes. But I do feel good - more alert and less tired during the day. And I might be losing a couple pounds, which I can't complain about. I'll give my full review and/or recommendation at the end of the month.

In other news:

This is my friend Sarah with her little friend Augustine in Haiti at Christmas. (I went with Sarah to Haiti a few years ago and wrote about it briefly here.)

Augustine lives at the orphanage where I volunteered, and was once very close to death. She's now a happy little girl, as you can see. :)

Obviously, you all know what happened there this week, and although I am shaken by it and scared, I trust that God is there and he will redeem it, even as he suffers with us. My friend John gave me a book this winter and shared one of his favorite lines: "Jesus gives God a face, and that face is streaked with tears."

Sarah has been frantically working to get information about the orphanage and the babies, and found out yesterday that only one baby died because his oxygen was cut off. All the Sisters and the rest of the babies were spared. Even the orphanage is still standing. Something to be thankful for in the midst of this sadness.

But this is especially difficult because I've seen the poverty and corruption of Haiti. It's frustrating to see a place where devastation is so long-standing and ingrained. How does one even begin to rebuild? They are starting from ground zero on nearly everything - political, social, economic, basic human rights infrastructures. It's daunting.

So, I ask for prayers. For the people of Haiti, those who are responding right now and those who will continue to help. And today, especially, for the children.

this is actually going to be on mtv

2010-01-06T22:25:00.000-08:00

I didn't think I would ever want to watch a show on MTV ever again. Then my friend David posted this on Twitter, and who knows, I might tune in:

The Buried Life

Happy 2010!

December 31

2009-12-31T13:18:00.000-08:00

December 31: Resolution you wish you'd stuck with (You know, there's always next year...)

Spanish, Spanish, Spanish. Quiero hablar espanol!

I vowed to keep learning Spanish, and for a while, I was a loyal member of a group that met at the Lucky Lab in NW Portland. I took a class at PCC, went to Nicaragua in July, and went to a couple of Spanish dinners, but for the last few months, felt like I haven't practiced much at all. And I really want to be able to speak it, to at least understand people when they're talking to me.

Another goal for 2010. Obvio.

December 30

2009-12-31T12:40:00.001-08:00

December 30: Ad What advertisement made you think this year?

I saw this via my friend Dan Klyn who tweeted about it. And it's from South Africa. Kinda cool.

Best Ad of 2009

December 29

2009-12-31T11:21:00.000-08:00

December 29: Laugh What was your biggest belly laugh of the year?

I knew this immediately. I distinctly remember saying that I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time - like this was the can't breathe-I'm crying-I might pass out kind of laugh. Sigh, I loved this.

It was our friend (and my roommate) Molly's birthday and she insisted on not celebrating it - she was leaving for the Midwest the next day and she just wanted to go to the pub with our friends like a typical Wednesday night. So, naturally, we planned to kidnap her and take her to the Sapphire Hotel, a sweet little spot in SE Portland that makes some nice cocktails.

The plan was for a friendly kidnap, to throw her in the back of a car and maybe blindfold her, but as soon as we got talking about it, somehow I was asked to bring rope for her hands and feet, and, well, things changed a bit.

Molly made it to the pub alright, but we grabbed her as soon as she got her beer and dragged her outside. Then, on the curb, we tied her hands and her feet, and Joy had the great idea to throw a paper bag over her head (there may have been a belt). Yep. People were staring.

We popped the back of Joy's hatchback and first, had the brilliant idea of tipping Molly in face-first, but didn't realize until it was too late that her hands couldn't really support her when they were tied behind her, so she was basically laying on her face. I think this is when I was laughing the hardest.

Molly was a great sport - she laughed the whole time and didn't get mad at us for yelling at her to be quiet and lay down for the entire 20 minute drive. With a bag over her head. Thanks, Molls, for the best laugh of the year. Just wait until next year...

December 28

2009-12-31T10:30:00.000-08:00

Best Stationery

My friend Joy is obsessed with unicorns, and I think she actually believes they exist. Yeah...

So I was home this summer, going through my old desk and all my little memories and found a pad of paper with the most beautiful unicorn on every page. I'm pretty sure it was from 6th grade (ahem...). Perfect for Joy.

December 26 and 27

2009-12-30T11:08:00.000-08:00

December 26: Insight or Aha! Moment

There is something that sounds so cliche about having a different perspective when you turn 30. But I can tell you that there's truth to it. Something shifts; I don't know exactly what to call it. It's like I exhaled after a long time of waiting for something I couldn't put my finger on.

I'm not where I thought I would be at 30, but I'm okay with it. And maybe that's what it is - just accepting my life as it is. Less pressure, more confidence. It's good.

December 27: Social web moment

I remember my first social web moment, ever. It was 1995, I was 16 and working as a library aide at a small, local public library. We had just hooked up to the internet with these crappy monitors - the only thing I saw was a black screen and orange text, no pictures or fonts or formatting. But it was the world wide web, and it was cool. Somehow, I found a chatroom and signed on as Princess something and started talking to people across the country. I was hooked.

Twelve years later (!), I signed up for Twitter, but I didn't know what to do with it. I didn't follow anyone, and there for sure wasn't anyone following me. I tweeted a couple of times and promptly forgot about the whole thing. Then, I started back this year - I can't remember what prompted it. Maybe it was because more people were actually talking about it. Or that I realized that I could be connected to interesting people who could teach me something.

The past several months have been entertaining, eye-opening, and generally informative - I'm learning the ins and outs of social media, checking out inspiring design projects and keeping up with news and friends across the country. I used to work in PR, and this is the stuff we were wondering about when all of this started to take off. Who would connect with who? And more importantly, why? Not exactly a moment, but a definitive, positive change in my online habits.

December 24 and 25

2009-12-29T12:34:00.000-08:00

December 24: Learning Experience

I worked with some cool people back in Grand Rapids before I moved out to Portland, and have had the privilege of staying in touch with them, which is why it was so distressing to read on Twitter earlier this year that one of those friends suffered a freak accident that revealed a huge tumor in his brain. David is a talented communicator and devoted husband, and he's 28.

David had been blogging before about life, but started writing about this from the first hospital bed. And he writes straight from his heart about how he is choosing to respond to this - what he's found is that finding a tumor in his brain is something he's entirely grateful for. Grateful. For a tumor. He's taking leaps like never before, pursuing his dreams and genuinely loving the people around him. No regrets. Most importantly, he is trusting in God and discovering what his faith really looks (and sounds) like.

I'm learning a lot from David. And I'm not the only one. You can follow his blog here: Jump David Jump.

December 25 Gift What's a gift you gave yourself this year that has kept on giving?

Netflix. I love it. I've seen Mad Men, so many amazing episodes of Friday Night Lights and rented old classics like Breakin'. Yes, Breakin'.

This week: Veronica Mars, Season 1. Sigh. This was such a good show.

December 22 and 23

2009-12-28T20:00:00.000-08:00

December 22: Startup/Business

I know of a cool little production company that's been doing some good work with a guy named Josh Shipp, and I like what he has to say. His advice videos to teenagers crack me up - not sure what that says about me, but trust me, his stuff is good. He was also nominated as one of Inc. magazine's top 30 under 30 entrepreneurs of 2009.

Josh is quirky, a little silly and gives smart answers to tough questions. If you have teenagers, check him out. And if you don't, well, you should still check him out.

www.heyjosh.com

December 23: Web Tool

Mint.com

My brother-in-law introduced me to Mint.com when I was home for Christmas last year, and I've used it ever since. I actually like the reminders, and I love being able to see everything - my credit cards, investments, accounts - in one glance. I could have used this a long time ago.

December 18-21

2009-12-23T12:31:00.000-08:00

I was in Michigan last weekend, and had been dying to write about it, but it was a major surprise trip, especially for my dear sister who had no idea I was coming into town. Crashing her party last week was definitely a highlight of the trip. And so were my niece, nephews and Christmas time!

All that to say, you get a few days' posts in one. Giddyup.

December 18: Shop

I am nominating Art of the Table in Grand Rapids, Michigan for my shop of the year. They helped me in a pinch for my sister's birthday - she wanted a neoprene six-pack holder, which they carry and they also have a lovely stocked fridge in the back of the store full of hard-to-find beers. So, Amy put together a little bag for Lynn, I called her on her birthday, told her to stop in for a birthday surprise, and she picked up her holder and the beers she wanted. It was perfect.

December 19: Car ride

My favorite car ride of the year: the bus ride to the markets in Masaya with Beth in Nicaragua. Nicaragua is the old schoolbus heaven and every bus is named (ours was "Siempre mi nino"/"Always my child") and decorated - with bright colors and interesting drivers. We sang Mambo No. 5 with the locals and passed by cows and pigs, and families on bikes.

December 20: New person

So, technically, I met Margaret last year at work, but I don't think we actually became friends until this year. She works at an architectural firm here in Portland and we've been coworkers since last September - she's a talented architect. Margaret and her husband love to cook (he's a chef) and they invited me to a tasty Brunch-B-Q earlier this year at their house. They also brew their own beer, which I have tried and will tell you that it is GOOD. Margaret gives me good advice and laughs at my jokes even when they're kind of lame.(Wut? Wut?)

I'm not going to be working with Margaret much longer, which stinks. But there are happy hour plans in the works. And hopefully another Brunch-B-Q. Seriously.

(This is Caitlyn, Margaret, me and Shane (all coworkers) at the Oregon Brew Fest last year.)

December 21: Project

I haven't gotten very far in two months, but this chair is going to be amazing when it's done. I've got next week off and some good ideas. More pictures to come.

December 17: New word/phrase

2009-12-17T20:54:00.001-08:00

I can't take credit for this (Joy), but the best new word use I heard this year was "trick" as in, "I love my new cowboy boots - they are so trick!"

Think it will catch on?

December 16: Best Tea

2009-12-16T10:08:00.001-08:00

Best tea this year: Egyptian Licorice from Yogi. And a short story: (apologies in advance for trying to cover something so special in just a few short paragraphs)

A few years ago, I went to Haiti for a week to hold babies, and had one of the most powerful experiences of my life.

I met up with Sarah and Sarah - two amazing women who live in LA - who led the trip, and encouraged me to really embrace every part of our time there - finding hope in what seems utterly lost. We loved on babies at an orphanage in Port-au-Prince and I saw poverty like I've never seen before. I also encountered love like never before - from the sisters who work full-time at the orphanage, the grateful room moms and of course, those beautiful babies.

It was also a chance to become friends with some lovely people, especially Sarah and Sarah, who I've been able to stay in touch with over the last few years. And when I visit LA, they generously offer their couch and their time to me, which I appreciate more than they know.

These ladies are also tea-lovers, and Sarah O introduced me to Egyptian Licorice tea from Yogi the last time I was there in October (part of the reason she loves it is because it's from Oregon, of course). But also because it's just a little sweet and spicy. She's sweet herself, and packed a couple of teabags in my suitcase before I left. Definitely my best tea find of the year.

P.S. Sarah and Sarah and Nikki G and others are headed back to Port-au-Prince in a few days to continue working at the orphanage - please pray for their safety and health and time with the sisters and babies. I wanted to go so badly, but for certain reasons, I'll have to wait until next time. Prayers and thoughts for them in the meantime.

December 15: Best packaging

2009-12-15T19:44:00.000-08:00

Howdy. We're about halfway now, and I have to say, it's been a struggle to post every day. Way to go, daily bloggers.

It's been a good day - I just got my hair cut, I'm having one of my favorite Breakfast Wrap burritos and I just put some champagne in the freezer before I head out in a bit. Last night, Erica and I caught up on Glee and watched an episode of Friday Night Lights. We're not crazy TV people, but we might be just a teensy bit obsessed with those shows. Watch them if you can. Especially FNL.

December 15: Best packaging

We started buying milk in the old-fashioned glass containers earlier this year, and while it's freakin' expensive, I love the fact that I'm buying milk from a farm and not wasting anything. Kind of makes me feel like Laura Ingalls Wilder. Well, probably more like Nellie, since she would get hers from the store.

tres posts for you

2009-12-14T21:20:00.000-08:00

Three days to catch up on - please don't judge. I've just been, shall we say, preoccupied - with good things, of course. But I'll try not to make a habit of this...

December 12: New Food

This is kind of ridiculous, but I have to say that the food highlight of my year has been the Breakfast Wrap by Higher Taste. It's an Oregon thing, and Erica introduced me to it, and I have one at least once a week. I may be their most loyal customer.

December 13: What's the best change you made to the place you live?

This has been a year of settling in for our house. My lovely roommates and I moved in last December and it's just started really feeling like home. The biggest change for me was probably unpacking everything.

We were just talking tonight over dinner about how great this last year has been for us as roommates. We are three girls living together, so there are bound to be little tiffs here and there, but overall, we really do love each other. Our house has become a place we're excited to come home to. And that's something I don't want to change.

December 14: Rush

Hmm. A rush. I had to think about this for a bit. I've done a few adrenaline-rush activities in my life (skydiving, anyone?), but this year, I would say my biggest rush has been boxing.

Now, I don't actually fight. It's just not in me to do that. But I do train like I'm going to fight. And I love it. I started classes a few years ago at Frank's Sun City Fitness - now Frank's Knockout Fitness - and couldn't figure out why I actually liked going to a class where someone yelled at me for 45 minutes to do more sit-ups and punch harder.

But it's the rush I get when I hit the bag, when my glove smacks it so hard and I know that if it were a person, he'd be in the hurt box. Or maybe it's just a chance to get rid of some underlying aggression issues. Either way, it's one of my favorite things to do, so I was really happy to find Erik's Extending Fitness here in Portland. It's my Wednesday night workout.

December 11: Best Place

2009-12-11T19:31:00.000-08:00

Oh, how I love love love my parents' house. Yes, it's in West Michigan where it's currently 12 degrees with a forecast of snow for the next six months, I know. But it's home. My parents bought it from a couple whose daughter is a Broadway star (I inherited her bedroom, which I always thought was cool) - she visited one summer and told me and my sister that she used to throw great parties with the guys from Dukes of Hazzard. Awesome.

The house has this super old intercom system with these weird-looking plastic white phones on the wall of most rooms, and the rec room has a cool old stereo, which we used to turn up while we rollerskated for hours. In the back, there's a pool and a deep ravine filled with trees that runs through the neighborhood and in the summer, it looks like a jungle down there.

Every summer was filled with pool parties and diving board games and popsicles and hot dogs on the grill. And in the winter, we would watch the snow come down, filling up the patio until it covered the diving board.

I used to tell them that they could never sell it. But I think I've made peace with that - maybe it's time for someone else to find out how great it is.

December 9 & 10

2009-12-10T07:59:00.000-08:00

December 9: Best Challenge

The Annual Review

This was the first year I did an Annual Review, or basically a year-long plan with measurable, reachable goals for all the things I wanted to do in 2009 - learning Spanish, running, writing, etc. Thanks to Chris Guillebeau, I had a lovely spreadsheet (nerdy, I know, but I love them) to start with and track throughout the year. And it's not easy! It required really thinking through things that I wanted to do, setting goals and then evaluating whether or not I was actually working toward them, and ultimately deciding what was priority and what wasn't.

I watched some ambitions drop like flies and other interests bloom, and I loved writing "done and done" when I completed things like my first (and maybe only) 5k and listing the books I'd read and trips taken. It was kind of like breaking down my life into pieces and chasing them down, making them happen. Or kind of like a good kick in the pants. Yup.

December 10: Album of the Year

Imogen Heap | Ellipse

First up:

2009-12-09T11:22:00.000-08:00

Some quotes: http://jf.backpackit.com/pub/29-favorite-quotes

I like this one today:

"Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want."

Margaret Young

December 8: A Moment of Peace

2009-12-08T17:10:00.000-08:00

Stepping off the plane in PDX after a good visit home this summer, and knowing this is the place to be. After almost a year and a half, I needed that.

Blog Challenge 09 - December 6 & 7

2009-12-07T12:48:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a busy day - in the way you wish all days could be busy - and I didn't have time or energy to post. So today's a two-fer!

December 6: Workshop or Conference

I didn't spend much time in workshops or conferences this year; however, I did go to a women's retreat for my church and, though it was a pretty low-key weekend, I took a lot away from the time spent with the ladies from The Well and the speaker. She covered a few interesting, influential women in the Bible, and by far, my favorite was the story of Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well.

Jesus was a little cryptic, talking about living water and telling her about herself. But despite her story (and his mysterious words), this woman was not afraid to be herself, ask him questions and, ultimately, believe. (John 4:1-42)

December 7: Blog Find of the Year

It's a tie. Design*Sponge (thanks, Amber!) and What I Wore. Love them both!

December 5: Best Night Out

2009-12-05T12:24:00.000-08:00

So glad my friends here like to salsa. I spent more than a few nights at a great little salsa club in Santiago, Chile and love it, so I usually go when I have the chance. But this particular night was feeling really low-key, I didn't want to pay the $10 cover and it kept getting later and later. But my roommate Erica really wanted to go, even though it was past 10, so I reluctantly put on my heels and away we went to Mambo Lounge.

Back story: the last time we went to Mambo Lounge - which I love - I danced with a shorter, cologne-happy guy who tried all kinds of crazy moves with me. He was a very good dancer; I was not. I'm not bad, but I was not at his level, and at one point, he had me sitting on his bent legs and tipped back almost entirely upside down. Mambo Lounge is a big open room, and usually there is a crowd of people watching everyone. But I was more worried about falling on my head, flashing everyone or kicking someone else than looking like I knew what I was doing - it wasn't pretty. I had words with him when the song was over.

When we arrived on this particular Saturday night, I danced with a few different guys, and then I saw him. The crazy-dip guy. Actually, I smelled him first. When he asked me to dance, I said, "Hey, I know you!" And he started laughing and said, "Oh yeah, I remember you!"

Uh-oh.

This time, I was very clear with him about not doing the dip (or any other "So You Think You Can Dance" moves), and to his credit, he completely respected my wishes. He actually made me feel like a good dancer. So good that I forgot what time it was and my friends had to drag me home. It was an unexpectedly great night.

Runner-up: NW PDX Progressive Dinner - Todd's, the Price's (impromptu dance party!), our house, and Amber's for a splash of champagne. So. Much. Fun.

Best Book

2009-12-04T14:33:00.000-08:00

So, I know I picked an article for yesterday, but that was before I read this one. I really like what this man has to say.

Today's topic: Best Book. I read - a lot - so this is sad that I can't choose more than one. But since I have to pick, I'm picking Bel Canto by Ann Patchett.

It has a piano, South America, love and suspense. This was the kind of book that I read during lunch at work, the kind that I didn't want to tell anyone about right away, so I could just let it replay in my mind. And the quote I put in my planner:

"All the brilliant things we might have done with our lives if only we suspected we knew how."

December 3: Best Article

2009-12-03T12:54:00.000-08:00

I read a lot, so it was hard to remember and pick just one, but I've referred to this article in conversation multiple times, and wondered about the idea as I've been using a lot of free services this year, like Twitter, YouTube and Facebook. Anyway, Malcolm Gladwell reviews a book called Free which suggests that "all information wants to be free," as in you don't have to pay for it. (Not like twirling around in a open field... ahem.)

The idea of what's free, what isn't and what should be is one of those ideas that goes round and round in my mind.

It reminds me of working for NOOMA - talking about why we charged what we did for the films (especially as a nonprofit), and the idea of value and perceived value. They were $10 for a reason. Our designers were also very protective of the brand - the logo, the intro to the films, everything. There is value to the time, energy and creativity that goes into creating a brand, maintaining an image - the intellectual property. And part of what our customers paid for was the image, whether they realized it or not.

It also reminds me of a conversation with a friend of a friend who argued that information (music, design - use of logos, etc.) should be free, but that the business model should change. He told me about Mos Def's strategy earlier this year (summary here), which I hadn't heard about. I don't know if this is where music is headed, but it's interesting nonetheless.

It makes me wonder what my kids will be paying for some day or getting for free - if they'll think it's crazy that I paid 99 cents for a song on iTunes. I guess we'll find out soon enough.

I just thought this was funny.

December 2: Best Restaurant Moment

2009-12-02T19:14:00.000-08:00

Dinner party guests arriving in a few, and I just got home from boxing. Good thing I drafted this earlier today...

Best Restaurant Moment 2009: Navarre. April 3. One of those spontaneous "Hey let's grab dinner" nights. My roommate Erica and I had been to a book reading by Susan Isaacs - she is funny, and so is the book (Angry Conversations with God). Afterwards, we were all sort of milling around talking about dinner and two friends decided to join us and then we were outside walking to Navarre: me, Erica, Ben and Justin.

So, Portland has a bajillion amazing restaurants. All over the city. Basically, wherever you are in town, you can find a place to eat, and eat well. Justin recommended Navarre - I had never been - and its theme is local food, family style. They prepare whatever they get from local farms, so basically it's a CSA restaurant. I like that.

The food was tasty. There were greens, mushrooms (Erica tried them!), fish, duck, bread and really good red wine. And good conversation about everything - work, families, art, art communities in Texas, fishing in Alaska, being 30 (I was close enough).

Later we went to Horse Brass for beers, and at the end of the night, the boys walked us back out to my car and we giggled like we were 14 again.

December 1: Best Trip

2009-12-01T21:13:00.000-08:00

December 1: Best Trip

I told myself at the beginning of the year that I would have to cut back on travel - I had just moved to Portland six months before, and had come basically from Chile by way of Michigan. It was going to be a "save" year.

But I can't sit still, especially not when lovely friends are beckoning from all over. So just days after the Honduran coup, I headed down to Nicaragua to visit my friend Beth for a long weekend. Not the most stable country ever, but safer than Honduras.

It was the best trip of the year because:

1. It was the real deal. The accommodations were comfortable and safe, but this was no resort. Beth knew enough about the city of Managua to get us around via public transportation or cabs at night. And I met so people who actually live there. That is my kind of vacation.

2. I made a great connection with a friend of a friend which kind of happened through Facebook. Beth and I met up with Jane, George and their family - in Nicaragua for a month to serve and travel. The kids were fantastic - 7, 5, and 3 - speaking Spanish, playing with Nica kids and totally embracing a very foreign summer vacation. They let us tag along one morning to volunteer at a home for abused women and children - we played games, sang songs, fake-tattooed their arms, and loved on some kids for a morning.

3. This trip reminded me of Chile, my precious Chile. The Spanish, the culture, the volunteering. I vow to go back.

All that to say: Visit Nicaragua - for the year-round black curtain, the fantastic coffee, the gorgeous landscape, the friendly people and just to grow your heart and mind a little bit. And there's more here. (And FYI: this trip beat out 10 days home with my family, whom I love dearly, and a long, warm weekend in SoCal with great friends and a U2 concert.)

blog challenge 2009

2009-11-30T20:32:00.000-08:00

I thought I had time for blogging. Apparently I don't. But that's about to change. And the reason is because I'm accepting a challenge. A challenge to blog once a day for the next 30 days about the highlights of 2009. The list is here. And so it begins.

can't wait!!

2009-08-23T18:18:00.001-07:00

It's almost time. I leave for Michigan on Thursday night for a lovely red-eye to New Jersey (no, I am not kidding - I love Continental!) then on to the most cool Grand Rapids. I'm very excited - could you tell by my double exclamation points? I rarely do that.

My top five things I want to do:

1. Go to the beach! I'm tired of West Coasters making fun of Michigan's beaches. I miss fresh water that's warm enough to swim in. The Pacific is a huge ocean, yeah yeah yeah - but I can't lay out next to it or jump off a pier into it.

2. Spend some quality time with my niece and nephews. Seriously, Skype is amazing and I'm grateful for it. But I can't give Zach a zerbert, or color with Lauren, or march around with Max unless I'm there in person. Get ready guys!

3. Drive down to Chicago with my sister! I miss that city - it's always been one of my favorite places. I talked about moving there so much that people actually thought I did live there. Oops. Well, maybe someday. If we can, we're going to try to go to Webster's Wine Bar - one of my favorite places of all time. Seriously.

4. Enjoy the drive from Kalamazoo to Grand Rapids and back. Do you have any idea how many times I've made that drive? I love that I know every exit, gas station and where all the cops like to wait.

5. Go swimming in my parents' pool. Holy smokes - it has been in the upper 90s here twice this summer - no one has AC and I have literally almost melted. Well, maybe not. But I did have dreams/mirage-like visions of my parents pool. And I think I will do a cannon ball.

Of course, I can't wait to see so many people (and their new babies!) and drive past my old house and just do life with people I love and miss. See you in four days!

thursday...

2009-07-16T20:11:00.000-07:00

And I'm in the backyard, enjoying a fantastic summer night.

I'm exhausted - last week I got in from Nicaragua at 2 AM on Tuesday night. Fortunately, I have amazing roommates and one of them got out of bed to pick me up from the airport. Seriously - I owe that girl. I didn't feel great last weekend (I think it was the pupusas) and this week has been midnight to bed every night. I'm on my way to a little concert in a few, and will try to be in bed before 11. We'll see how that goes...

I went to Spanish conversation group last night, which I love. I get to practice listening, speaking and we have pretty interesting conversation. Last night, we discussed the coup in Honduras - if you think it's difficult to discuss in English, try Spanish. But I loved hearing the different perspectives. I'm not sure yet if I totally oppose it - but would love to hear your thoughts...

My next trip is to Grand Rapids/Kalamazoo from August 28 through Labor Day. I cannot wait. I'm planning on a real beach (yeah, that's what I said), pool time, a little humidity and some serious family time. And I'm thinking about a little jaunt to SoCal this fall. We will see.

A few extras: Just bought and read A Praying Life by Paul Miller - excellent book, I recommend it. Also just bought (and I mean like 4 minutes ago) Phoenix's Wolfgang Amadeus album from iTunes. Another good find. Recently read Relentless Pursuit - about life with Teach for America. I think I'm ready for some fiction. Suggestions?

nica!

2009-07-04T17:47:00.000-07:00

It's warm - maybe 84 and I'm waiting for dinner. Beth is taking a shower after a day at the markets in Masaya and an amazing swim in Laguna de Apoyo - a lake created by a volcanic implosion about 23,000 years ago. I did a handstand, so I guess I can say that I touched a volcano with my hand. Boo-ya.

Nicaragua is beautiful. It's hot, tropical and Latin and I love it. I am practicing my Spanish with Beth which has been awesome and in the market today too. Some things remind me so much of Chile!

Beth and I just got upgraded to private rooms - instead of the dorm - at our hostel. Last night we were in an open air dorm with three other girls - it is the closest to the water, so we basically fell asleep listening to the waves.

So why Nicaragua? My friend Beth is working with an organization in Managua that provides community health services. She specifically coordinates trips for groups that come down to travel around and provide various medical, dental or construction services. And she'll be here for three years - so I thought I should come see what she's up to!

I can't say enough how fortunate I feel to be able to travel, and especially to be able to visit someone I know. God is providing for her in so many ways and it's humbling to see that. Even the people we've been talking to here at the hostel share their stories about the work they're doing and I see that God is moving here. Gracias a Dios!

the underdogs

2009-06-24T19:02:00.000-07:00

Today was a fantastic day for US soccer - the men's team upset Spain, beating them 2-0 in a game they were largely expected to lose. I don't know what happens when I watch those games, but I get all antsy and my heart beats really fast and I "say" things like my dad - Switch fields! Outside, outside!! Be there!!!

Fortunately, we have a big TV in our office, so we watched during lunch and I am not lying when I say that I literally jumped out of my chair when we scored the second goal. Here are some highlights: Footytube (just click on it). I don't know what language it is, but all you need to know is that US's goalie had a phenomenal game and the foul at the end was a ridiculous call.

I leave for Nicaragua in exactly one week and I cannot wait - to see Beth, to meet Nicaragua, to speak Spanish and to relax. The plan is to head to Laguna de Apoyo and stay for a couple of nights at Crater's Edge and it looks amazing. Hopefully we don't get rained out.

Two last things: FutureMe - a website that allows you to write emails to yourself in the future, provided that you keep the same email address. I think I might do it. And the verse I've been looking at all week on our new kitchen message board:

oh the irony

2009-06-17T19:54:00.000-07:00

I don't think my roommates found this as funny as I did. Maybe it was because I was trying to talk to them while they were on their computers.

You know you do it!

please excues the typos

2009-06-10T22:02:00.000-07:00

I think I was an English teacher in my last life. Or at least an editor. I have a thing for words - I'm kind of spelling spaz, I'm always fake-typing when I'm bored and it drives me crazy to see typos and easy grammatical errors - especially in public places. Maybe I need to define "public place" but recently I came across a blog where the author excuses her spelling errors because it's just a blog. Granted, she writes every day, but it's not like it's a blog about her dog or the pie she made last weekend. It's more like professional career advice, writing about jobs and work - where a typo can cost someone an interview or a new client.

Some might argue that if one's point is made, if the idea is conveyed, then the minor details are a moot point. But quality is quality - from the tiniest of details to the grandest of ideas. And I'm worried that we're increasingly satisfied with decreasing standards.

So, in a small act of quality control, I urge you to be conscious of what you are sharing with the world - whether it's an email to your friend, a birthday card for your daughter or a blog post about how cool it is to be Dutch. If we don't insist on the best, who will?

2009-06-09T19:07:00.000-07:00

a few things:

1. I promise to write more - if not for your enjoyment, for my much-needed practice.
2. God is good. He has given me so much in Portland, and though I miss my family like crazy, I am here, and present.
3. Some of the craziness that I call my life lately:

my girl Steph visited last weekend, and even though the weather was not great, we went to the coast, hiked in the Gorge, got a tour of a brewery and ate out SO GOOD. She and I are kindergarten buddies, and she will always be a close, close friend.
My car is on clutch #2 - in nine months!
Nina Simone rocks my world.
I am headed to Nicaragua in 3 weeks to visit my friend Beth!
I had a visit from my volunteer bud Christy on Sunday - I miss that girl (and her hilarious laugh!)

On a more serious note, I know a lovely couple in Grand Rapids who recently found out that one of them has a brain tumor. David and Amy are two amazing people, and David's courage and faith is reminding me about who God is and who he calls us to be.

I've also been thinking about purpose, drive, passion and reality lately. After I graduated from college (8 years ago!), I worked in marketing and it was an interesting experience. But I chose to quit my job and move to Chile for four months - now I'm not sure where I stand. I'm not sure what I truly want to pursue, although I know that there is something that I am passionate about. It's just escaping me, or I'm afraid to go after whatever it is. I'm needing courage right now, determination, and a healthy dose of reality...

lenting

2009-02-24T19:29:00.000-08:00

i'm writing on a deliciously portland evening - finally, it's rainy and gray and it feels very northwest. my roommates are out of the house - and i'm resisting the urge to turn on anything with noise. so it's me, the ticking clocks and the rain.

i say delicious because i have been consumed with food lately. or maybe i've been consuming a lot of food? either way, all of my reading lately has inspired a compost bin, a csa (community supported agriculture) membership with my roommate, and some tasty treats like tomato jam with goat cheese, lynnie's roasted red pepper dip and valentine's day eggs in a nest :)

i have a few books in the hopper - exposed, about chemicals, our health and politics (scary!), the omnivore's dilemma (the prequel to "in defense of food" which was fantastic) and orthodoxy by g.k. chesterton. the last is one that i've been struggling to read (confession: i read it when i need to fall asleep). but i have faith that it will eventually get rolling and i will be as impressed as everyone else.

what else? i just watched "king corn" this weekend, an interesting documentary about how much corn we grow and eat and process here in the states. i am grimacing right now, partly because of how ubiquitous corn is and we don't even know it, and partly because i had greasy, butter popcorn this afternoon and loved it. anyway, it's a good film - rent it.

so, tomorrow is ash wednesday... and i'm debating whether or not to give up anything. two years ago i gave up coffee, then ended up visiting seattle for the first time (coffee capital!) in the middle of lent. i was there with a pastor, so i asked his professional opinion on whether or not i could break the fast. i mean, come on - i was in seattle. he kind of rolled his eyes, sighed, and asked me why i was fasting in the first place. and i really had no other answer than that i was doing what you're supposed to do at lent. two hours later, i was drinking coffee, strolling down the street towards pike place market - and then spilled all over my shirt. it was like getting the stink-eye from god. moral of the story? don't give up something unless you really mean it...

happy lent!

it's spring and it's february

2009-02-05T20:36:00.000-08:00

This is my second non-Michigan winter, and I have to say, it is fantastic. I can't boast temps in the 70s like my friends in California, but there is no snow, no biting cold winds and I don't have to wear boots every day to work. I hear the rainy season may be starting up soon, so I'm mentally preparing for that, but otherwise, this is great.

I'm reading a fascinating book right now called Whatever it Takes by Paul Tough. I first heard this story on This American Life (listen to this show, please) and immediately put a hold on this book - back in October. I finally got it last week and have been devouring it for the last few days. Oddly enough, the author interviews a teacher whose name I recognize from Grand Rapids - it is a small, small world.

Anyway, the book has been inspiring to say the least, and is one of the many things over the last several months (years, maybe?) that is making me think about what I'm going to do with my life. And I want to send a little shout-out here to all the people who don't have their career path figured out - I am one of you. I am forever changing my mind, searching for the thing that I'm passionate about, the thing that makes me angry so I'll want to do something to make it better, however you want to put it. It's out there, somewhere. Some of us just take the scenic route.

dtv - better tv? or overtaking our lives??

2008-12-17T10:43:00.000-08:00

so, if you haven't already heard, television goes digital in february. and honestly, if you haven't already heard, you've been living under a rock. my question is this: does anyone find it strange that we're able to spend a serious amount of time, money and energy telling each other about television?? there are commercials specifically for older adults, countdowns to the switch and even countdowns to the tests to make sure we're ready for the switch!

please tell me there are more important things in life.

books books books

2008-11-30T11:46:00.000-08:00

I love to read. And I love books. My first job was as a library aide at Oshtemo Public Library - I helped people check out books, look for books and mostly shelved books. At my last job, I worked with a publisher and got to see how books went from manuscripts to hardcover to softcover. *sigh* I love books. So I have some recommendations:

The Road of Lost Innocence: I picked up this book at my friend's house this weekend and read it one day. It's the story of a girl who was sold into the sex trade in Cambodia and how she has become the head of an organization that fights for the rights of the girls that are abused. It's tragic and moving, and makes me wonder where such violent hatred toward women in that part of the world comes from.

Bel Canto: I kept seeing the name of this book, and knew that it took place in South America - so I wanted to read it. It's beautiful - the story of a dinner party held hostage and what happens with the captives from around the world, including a world-renowned opera singer, and their captors. I recommend listening to Chopin while you read this.

Currently reading: Quo Vadis, The Time Traveler's Wife, and waiting on Whatever it Takes from the library. Send me your recommendations!

freakonomics

2008-11-21T17:58:00.000-08:00

Is this economic crisis starting to freak anyone else out just a little?

I've been avoiding my Simple IRA account balance for the last month or so - you know, trying not face my reality. And now, considering rolling it into a Roth and trying another company. Complicated and something I'd rather not think about at the moment. But that is what I end up discussing during my lunch hour with a coworker.

I read that the Dow may sit at around 6,000 points for a while, and we should get ready for it. I'm waiting to feel the effects of all of this - it's not like I'm spending my money all over the place, but really, if this is going to be anywhere close to the Great Depression, life as we know it will change. Predictions for my own life:

- Sit-ups and push-ups in my bedroom (maybe some jackknives)
- Rice and eggs
- Walking, not driving, to the pub on Mississippi
- Moving back to South America to live cheaply (kidding, Mom!)

Is an economic slowdown something that will affect absolutely everyone? For me, I'm hoping to maintain a job throughout the shakedowns, to continue to receive a salary. Maybe I'm part of the core group that keeps this whole machine going while everything gets straightened out. Does that mean that I'm expected to continue spending at the same rate as before?

Side notes:

I found a woman in Chicago who I admire, mucho - her name is Esther J. Cepeda, and she is a marketing director, but also a Spanish-speaker, teacher and writer. Her work is focused on bringing loans to students in Illinois, as well as giving us an interesting perspective on current events. Check out www.600words.com.

I listen to Pandora at work - day in, day out. Lately, I go back and forth between Ulrich Schnauss (German, techno pop) and Chopin. Both are incredible. Schnauss's music sounds like good old 80s movies to me, and for whatever reason, it's incredibly comforting. And it gives me that feeling I had, way back in the day - that my life was new, fresh, and everything great was still ahead of me. And Chopin, well, it's Chopin. Enough said.

Fall

2008-10-04T21:52:00.000-07:00

It's been officially four months since I moved to Portland. So much has happened! I'm sitting at my desk in my room, listening to music, looking at pictures of family and friends, and as always, wondering what's next.

I spent the first 5-6 weeks getting to know the city, and meeting friends - and hosting visitors - and wondering when I would get another paycheck. Fortunately, my first meeting with a temp agency brought in a job with an architectural firm as their receptionist. Little did I know it would turn into a full-time job as their marketing director.

I also moved into a house with three other girls in a fun neighborhood on the north side of Portland. Last weekend, I picked up a car - it would seem like I have most of the basics covered.

A few things I'm figuring out along the way: it doesn't matter where you are, it's who you're with. I miss my family - especially my niece and nephew (and soon-to-be-here nephew!) and wish I were closer to them. And there are so many people back in Grand Rapids who I think about often.

But I also miss Chile, a lot. I read the journal I kept while I was there, I talk to my friends who I volunteered with - some who are still there - and I look through the pictures of my kids. I may start saving money in a Return to Chile for a While fund. We'll see how that goes...

I took my first boxing classes this week since I've been here - they were fantastic. I don't know what it is about that sport (if that's what you want to call it) but I love the feeling of hitting something hard, of feeling the impact I'm having. Maybe that's a sign.

I went to a grad school fair this morning - I don't know what I was hoping to find, and it's not that I'm thinking about leaving my job anytime soon, but I keep feeling like I can do something different. I struggle with wondering if there's something more I want to do and knowing that no matter where I am or what I'm doing, there are always opportunities to serve, to make a difference, no matter how small or insignificant it seems. Not every experience has to be thousands of miles away.

Today it rained on and off, with patches of sun in between. It's feeling like fall.

this life

2008-09-21T08:36:00.001-07:00

i'm watching michael bloomberg on meet this press talking about the bail-out of freddie mac and fannie mae. and i actually understand what he's talking about with this whole mortgage mess. the reason is this:

www.thislife.com

go to the radio archives and stream the show in may 2008 called "the giant pool of money". it's excellent.

update. finally.

2008-07-08T21:57:00.000-07:00

well, well, well. it's now been over a month in portland, and this week is a good week. i had some visitors over the last several days - it was so nice to have some action around the condo, i started working this week and tomorrow night my sister arrives for a long weekend. fabulous.

i'm working for an architectural firm - never worked with or for one of those before - and i like it so far. my job isn't super challenging, which kept me up last night for a bit before i realized that it might give me time to think about what i really want to do: find a more challenging job, possibly go back to school, keep traveling... found this quote, too. and i like it.

"the more i travel, the more i recognize that most people in the world want the same things - even though we differ in the way we pursue them. traveling is the best way to learn appreciation and tolerance. americans have learned to be guarded. but there are places in the world where i have been warmly welcomed into the homes of complete strangers and fed well. travel to foreign lands... and be uncomfortable. you'll come back home richer for it."

thursday

2008-06-05T08:55:00.002-07:00

it's gray and cool today. like yesterday and the day before. a bit of a change from getting hot enough to jump in a 70 degree pool on sunday. i'm looking at leftovers from a little shindig last night, and drinking starbucks while i figure out what to do today. my only commitment is a 3:45 drive to the airport. then i'm on my own.

can't count the number of times i've had the "so why are you in portland?" conversation over the past few days. i'll be glad when that is over, although i think it's been good to remind myself that i'm going to take my time - finding a place to work, live, etc. if i didn't have to constantly repeat it, i might forget and start freaking out.

my host here - my friend don - has been ridiculously gracious, introducing me to all of his friends and showing me the cool spots in the city, all the while getting ready to skip town for seven weeks. i'll be driving his truck around while he's gone - me in the tacoma is a bit comical, and i'm convinced that i'm going to hit something. fingers crossed.

so, plan for the next two months: kayak, eat good food, find a job, check out first thursday, drink good beer, shop at trader joe's, make some friends, buy a bike, throw a couple parties, host lots of visitors (ahem), go to a concert or two, take my time.

betting on trains - hem. listen. amazing.

2008-05-22T17:27:00.007-07:00

i talked to two friends from chile this week - so good. so good to hear their voices, to catch up, to confirm that we are in fact "real life" friends, not just travel buddies. but i miss chile - the people, the excitement, and what the trip meant. i'm still getting used to being back, and moving on.

speaking of, i am in the process of moving on. in the middle of all sorts of lasts, as my friend kate would call them - i don't know if you do this, but i am always counting down. tonight is my last friday night in my house. it was my last day at work today (which was a job that i was kind of sad to leave), i had my last class at frank's on wednesday. i'll be thinking about my last shower here, my last run of the dishwasher... yes, i'm weird.

but these lasts aren't so difficult - it's the last time i see my sister for a while that's going to be hard.

i'm looking forward to not having a car (holy smokes, i filled up at $4.18 a gallon tonight), watching G4TV again, meeting new people, talking to Annette in the same timezone, and drinking good coffee and beer.

i have a lot of work to do tonight - packing up, cleaning and deciding what to keep and what to send out in august/september. will i still be there? *shrugs shoulders* we'll see.

p.s. a little post-script. none of this happens without a little faith in myself. which is something i haven't had in a long time, and it's changing everything.

t-minus

2008-05-04T16:37:00.002-07:00

less than one month, and i'm off to portland, oregon to have a go at life in the pacific northwest. it's been an interesting month back from chile - one where i've found myself torn between missing chile and looking forward to portland. sometimes difficult to be in the moment.

so i'm sitting at home tonight, in an incredibly clean house, and celebrating the fact that i sold it today. holy smokes, i still can't believe it.

a friend asked me on thursday night if i had been praying about moving to oregon, considering that i don't know very many people and don't have a job. and yes, i tell god about all the crazy things i'm up to, but i can't say i ever "heard" god say, yes, go to portland. then again, i didn't hear god say, yes, go to chile.

however, my house just sold. i have a place to live in portland for two months when i get there. i found a job within one week of getting back to grand rapids, for exactly the amount of time i'll be here before i leave. and everyone i've talked to is happy for me, and has great things to say about portland.

somewhere i read that god says no a lot more than he says go. but you have to step out first.

last few days

2008-03-29T07:03:00.002-07:00

i'm at starlight, again, probably for the last time and thinking about so many things. i got into santiago last night from buenos aires, and i can't tell you how good it felt to be back in a place where i knew everything. i really missed santiago while i was gone - not that buenos aires wasn't fun, but i wish i had spent more of my last days here.

i'm struggling to be present right now, trying to find the balance between enjoying the last moments i have here, and thinking about where i might work when i get back. i've been thinking about moving to portland, oregon for a long time, and last night, driving in from the airport, i was looking at the mountains and feeling like portland is right.

this has been so much more than a volunteer/travel experience for me. i've loved working with my babies - i'm planning on visiting them on monday morning before i fly out that night, and loved working with the tias. traveling around has been such a good experience as well. i've met people from all over the world, in so many different life situations, and yet we're all traveling together. but more than anything, this has been something that i needed. i've spent a lot of time in prayer - on the train, in the bus, walking around - and the other day in argentina, was thinking about how god knew that i needed to be here for a bit.

i keep hearing songs that will remind me of being here, and i wonder if i'll hear them at home and wish i were here. there are so many things i want to take with me when i go, and then suddenly i realize that i can't, and i shouldn't, because they aren't mine and they belong here.

so it's turning into fall here - the air is crisp in the mornings and i see kids in their school uniforms everywhere. it's a strange feeling to have had fall, a bit of winter, summer, a bit of fall and now i'll go back to late spring. i'm so used to such significant seasonal changes - used to the order, to how i feel every time we have a new season, and this is such a strange feeling.

i don't know how to say all of this gracefully - obviously - but my heart is full of thanks. so thankful for everything i've experienced, for every person i've met, and for the appreciation i found for everyone and everything at home that's been there all along...

alfajores, urban biking and a thunderstorm

2008-03-21T17:51:00.002-07:00

so beth arrived on tuesday morning, and i was so glad to see her. i didn't get the exact scene i had pictured in my mind because she beat me out of customs, but there was definitely a little squealing and a big hug in the middle of the airport.

since she was coming off two weeks in nicaragua and then an overnight flight from miami, beth caught up on some sleep for a bit during the day on tuesday and then we went to a tango show that night. wednesday we did a little shopping and then went salsa dancing with our friend jo from the hostel, and then thursday we checked out the cemetery in recoleta. i had met some really cool people in pucón, chile from around london and we all figured out that we'd be in buenos aires at the same time, so beth and i had a ridiculously good steak dinner with them on thursday night. seriously, i had chorizo, tenderloin medallions and a couple bites of beth's steak. i don't think i could have eaten any more.

all has been great so far, but i think today was my favorite - we went "urban biking" through the south part of the city, stopping by the south shore of the river for mate and alfajores (which are traditional cookies with caramel) and then on to the neighborhood la boca, where the futbol stadium is and where the tango was born. we stopped for a couple of beers at the market, and suddenly the sky got very dark and all of the vendors kept looking at the sky, waiting until the last possible second to pack up their stuff. our guides were pretty chill, and also waited until the last possible second to get us back on our bikes. but it was great - we did some crazy cycling back to city center through the wind and a little rain, but just made it into the subway before it really started to pour...

buenos aires is starting to grow on me - it's a huge city, but it's got a lot of personality. i love the italian influence, the prices and the clothes and shoes. we're going to a boca juniors futbol game on sunday, in their stadium (which is supposed to be the best) and i can't wait. until then...

tango?

2008-03-17T15:50:00.003-07:00

i made it to hostel number 3 (and hopefully the final) of my trip here in buenos aires... i think my least favorite thing about hostels would be the bathrooms. i'm looking forward to a long, hot shower at home, where i don't have to wear shower shoes, use a squeegee or worry about my clothes getting in dirty water - and where i can really scrub my dirty street feet.

the last few days have been pretty relaxing - beth is coming tomorrow morning, so i tried not to do the touristy stuff until she's here. wasn't too difficult, especially in palermo. last night, i went dancing with some hostel friends - i thought it would be more of a tango show at a restaurant, but we ended up in a community center in palermo soho. it was awesome. there must have been at least 100 people there taking tango lessons, and after the tango they had "rock" lessons. it was basically how to dance to oldies - fun, but strange to watch argentinians learning it... i had a brief tango lesson from my friend sergio, and it was alright, but i prefer to salsa. the tango is beautiful, but very different - slow, deliberate and almost sad.

so tomorrow, i'll be getting up at 5:45 or so and heading out to the airport to meet beth. we get to have one of those scenes, where i'm waiting just outside customs and we scream and give each other a big hug and act like we haven't seen each other in years. should be good.

this is not santiago

2008-03-13T14:08:00.002-07:00

blogging from buenos aires... i'm here for a couple of weeks before heading back to santiago. and i know i'm still in south america but really, i feel like i'm in spain. the city reminds me so much of barcelona - it's old, rickety, and incredibly charming. the only thing it's missing is gaudi...

i finished my work at the baby house this week, and it was tough to go. i drove a baby to the hospital for an appointment on tuesday morning, and when i came back, there was another new baby in the hogar - they're now up to 11, which is fun, but busy. one of our girls started jardin this week, too. it's basically preschool, but it starts at age 2 in chile - she is totally extroverted and loves it.

the best part of the week was that the head tia wanted to take a bunch of pictures of the kids, so my camera is full. plenty to remind me of my little friends.

i also completely packed up all of my stuff yesterday, which was strange. my roommate, charles, is awesome and letting me store my suitcases in his room while i'm in argentina. i'll probably stay there for a bit before i head home.

it's hard not to compare buenos aires to santiago, but the way i feel about santiago is so different. it's not just a city in south america anymore, i can't remember what i thought of it before i got there. obviously, to spend three months somewhere and get to know so many people changes things. it's a good thing i'm heading back for a few days before i go home. to leave it so suddenly would have been difficult...

shout-out

2008-03-10T14:32:00.002-07:00

so this is a special post, dedicated to my girl, logan. i thought she was a man before we met in the airport on the way down to chile, but clearly, i was wrong.

in fact, this girl was reading a book by one of my favorite authors (donald miller) on the plane, so i knew right away that we'd be buds. even though she moved waay out to the ve house, and we have crazy schedules, she and i manage to go out for lots of ice cream, travel to random chilean beaches and talk about the stuff that matters.

i'll miss you!

homestretch

2008-03-09T12:41:00.002-07:00

it is crazy how three months sounded like a such a long time back in december - i have two days left with the babies, and then i head to argentina for a couple of weeks before heading home. i would be lying if i said it will be easy to leave.

i think three months is that magic time when you start to feel comfortable, like you're at home. i recognize people on the street, i know where i'm going (most of the time) and i have friends that i'm really going to miss. sometimes it feels like i've dreamed all of this up, like i haven't been in south america for the last three months. maybe it will feel more real when i get home.

i've been pretty busy over the last couple of weeks - the new class started last week, so we had a lot of meetings for their orientation. and i've been trying to see as many people as i can before i go - my friend eduardo and i met for dinner after he finished work the other night, thursday night was a despedida and salsa, friday and saturday nights were with the volunteers.

i leave wednesday for argentina - and even though it means i'm leaving chile for a bit, i'm super excited. my friend beth from michigan is coming to buenos aires for a week, and it will be so good to see her. i'm going to try to go to uruguay while i'm there, and possibly south of buenos aires - we'll see. then i head back to santiago for three days to see everybody before i come home.

the other day i was walking to the bus stop after work and saw a little girl with puppies across the street. of course, i ran over, gushing over the puppies. they were street dogs, but would probably be sold to families in the neighborhood. the little girl was awesome, and her brother (i think) was so excited about how smart the dogs were already...

pucón, etc continued

2008-02-22T12:50:00.002-08:00

the puppies at the hostel in pucón, a cool picture of a tasty plum, the volcano, and the "beach"

pucon, among other things

2008-02-21T16:10:00.003-08:00

as always, a random assortment.

i spent last weekend a few hours (10 hours on a bus) south of santiago, enjoying the view of a volcano, kayaking in an inflatable kayak and hiking up a mountain. i had thought the miles i was walking every day would prepare me for the hike, but all of the white bread, red meat and wine i'm drinking definitely took its toll. :) getting to the top was a good feeling, as was the stumble down...

i'm getting closer to boarding a plane back home, and it's been on my mind a lot lately. i dream about people back home, and think a lot about what i'm going to do. i'm going to miss santiago and my work here, but i'm looking forward to what's next.

today we took a little girl to the hospital - she's going to have surgery on monday and have to stay in the hospital for five days. i'll be able to see her before i go, but i think it's going to be rough for her for a bit. i'm getting attached to my babies! lately, they've all been really good. we go for a lot of walks, play in the little pool in the front of the house and are trying to enjoy the summer here as much as possible before it cools off and starts to rain. a lot of chileans that i meet ask if we have homes for kids like this in the states. i do my best to explain the foster system, but it's complicated!

i've had the opportunity to hang out with some chilean families, which has been great. my neighborhood is filled with businessmen and a lot of foreigners, so it's good to get out and be with people who really live here. last night, i was my friends samuel and eduardo and their friend julieta. we had dinner at eduardo's home with his dad, who used to be a policeman here in santiago. he was awesome. for the first 20 minutes, he grilled me about the united states - the upcoming election, iraq, september 11, how policemen/laws are different in every state, you name it. it was interesting to hear how they view what's happening in the usa, and also humbling considering that i didn't have good answers for his questions. in the end, he gave me a gift - a magazine about the police force here in chile, with an article about the work he did protecting children. might not be considered much by some people, but i was really honored to receive it.

i had a flashback to high school bible class this afternoon - i was buying some food at the supermarket and the woman missed the bread i had picked up (70 pesos, which is about 14 cents) and threw it into my bag without scanning it. i noticed it before i paid, but didn't say anything. and then as i was walking out, i thought of mr. dewaal and his definition of integrity - what you do when no one is looking. i should have paid for the bread, all 14 cents of it.

pictures coming soon - i'm getting kicked out of the coffee shop 30 minutes before it's supposed to close. hmm...

tom jones, of course

2008-02-08T15:22:00.001-08:00

i always think of a million things i'd love to write about, but when it comes time to actually do it, i can't think of an eloquent, intelligent way to explain the things i do and see every day. so apologies in advance for the randomness...

my babies are good - we are up to 8 in the house now, ranging from 4 months to 2 1/2 years. they are fun and funny. i did fingerpainting with the two oldest on tuesday and they loved it. i'll take a picture of their art soon and post it. it's definitely promising.

i stepped in dog poop for the first time today. the tias laughed at me while i frantically scrubbed my sandal through the grass and told me that it would bring me good luck. keep your fingers crossed.

i love when people here speak in english to me. it happens a lot - usually whenever i say anything in spanish to them. at the doctor's office the other day, an x-ray tech asked the tia i was with why i wasn't answering his questions. hmm, maybe because my default mode is to smile and nod. when he learned i spoke english and bad spanish, he shared what english he knew (with me and the entire waiting room): "Everybody needs to be loved by somebody" and "Will you still love me tomorrow?" it was impressive.

for whatever reason (and seriously, i don't understand this), chileans love tom jones. to the extent that our head tia has "she's a lady" as her ringtone on her phone. but she didn't know what he was singing. so i spent some of my precious time here translating the words of tom jones into spanish:

Well she's all you'd ever want,
She's the kind they'd like to flaunt and take to dinner.
Well she always knows her place.
She's got style, she's got grace, She's a winner.
She's a Lady. Whoa whoa whoa, She's a Lady.
Talkin' about that little lady, and the lady is mine.

needless to say, she loved it, and i now own that song.

and, my friends - logan and sharah and josh!

monday morning

2008-02-04T05:28:00.000-08:00

just got back from playa ritoque last night (pictures soon)... i was hoping for a warm, relaxing, sunny weekend on the beach, but it turned out to be pretty cloudy and a little cold. no matter, though - we stayed at a nice little hostel right on the beach (hostel dunas) and got to know our fellow travelers. it was one of the girl´s birthday on sunday, so we made really great pizzas on saturday night, a birthday cake on sunday morning and chatted about all things irish, german and swedish.

there´s something about staying with people who appreciate travel so much - one couple was from ireland, both in their 30s and traveling for three months around south america. i´m always inspired, and hope that i take every chance i get to see the world...

off to work this afternoon, i think we get another new baby today which will take us up to 8!

argentina, coltrane and combos

2008-01-21T13:33:00.000-08:00

just got back from mendoza, argentina yesterday - a really great time with my friend lizzy... we almost didn't make it on the bus because i didn't have some paper that supposedly i got at the airport. who knows - i probably threw it away on accident. either way, we managed to get on the bus and get through customs at the border. the ride is pretty awesome - the bus goes through the mountains, which means a lot of switchbacks on the chilean side. argentina was nice because it's cheaper, and mendoza is pretty laidback, esp. compared to santiago. we stayed in a cool little hostel and hung out with a lot of british people, for some reason. we also went to a massive buffet restaurant and had carne and pork and papas fritas and dessert and lots of wine. it was fantastic.

i have decided that my volunteering job is perfect for me right now. i get to play with my little guys most days, and they're starting to recognize me and say my name now, which is cool. and i get to drive, which i love, and when i drive, i get to hang out with whichever baby we're taking to the doctor's. today it was a little guy - only 3 months old - he's adorable.

last night, i got a care package from my mom (who is the best!) and she sent me combos and oreos and snack mix from target (and an embarrassing picture) - my roommate manuel had never had combos before, so of course, he had to try them. and of course, he liked them.

i went to a very cool jazz concert last week thursday night on the river in downtown santiago. the river here is nothing to look at - actually, it's brown and it stinks. however, a chilean friend mentioned this concert and said it's the only time of the year that it's nice to be by the river. my friend logan and i saw a guy who played the accordion - i had never heard accordion jazz before. not sure if it's my favorite thing in the world... but after him was ravi coltrane, john coltrane's son. i love coltrane so i was excited to see him and he didn't disappoint. every time i hear good jazz, i feel like i'm in chicago - i don't know why. but i definitely could have been in grant park in july listening to him...

the baby house

2008-01-11T05:06:00.000-08:00

On my way to a retreat this weekend in the mountains, and I'm really looking forward to it. It's like a weekend away where all the volunteers talk about their work, what it means to be here and we have a chance to relax. I think we also play camp-like games, like the trust fall or something - I don't know. But I am excited to get out of the city for a bit.

So here are a couple of pictures - of the baby house, and my car! It's what they call a camioneta - it's a Peugeot Partner, and I like it. I drive like an old lady, mostly because I usually have babies in the car with no car seats. Seriously. It's a problem. And because there was another volunteer that missed a speed bump and gave a tia a really bad bruise. In her defense, their speed bumps are all black. There's a very faint "LENTO" in front, but it's hard to see them.

One of my favorite kids at the moment is a little girl - she's almost 2 years old and she is hilarious. Every time I come in the house, or pull up next to the gate, she yells, "HOLA!" And when she's hungry, the word for hunger is "hambre (om-bray)" but she says "Hamble!! (om-blay)". She has this high-pitched scream that she uses whenever other kids try to steal her toys. Oh, and she's in the midst of potty-training right now, and it's not going very well. Let's just say I need to wash some clothes...

The other day I gave her my camera case to hold while I took some pictures - the tias were painting the room where the kids sleep, so I was trying to keep her distracted. Of course, I turned my back for about two seconds and the case ended up in a bucket of paint. :)

The other picture is the baby house. To the right of the front door is the room where they sleep, the kitchen is in the back, and on the left are a few rooms, including an office and a bathroom and then the playroom on the far left end of the house. And lots of room for playing outside. Every house here - every house - has a big black gate and fence that goes all the way around the house. Not necessarily privacy fences (ahem), but more like security fences. It's probably just as much for the stray dogs as it is for anything else...

So a few things I'm loving about Chile right now:

- La Vega. It's this huge farmer's market - like the Fulton St. market times 100. At least. It's full of fruit, veggies, lunch, people and it's super interesting.

- Humitas. I bought one from a Peruvian vendor at the farmer's market - it's crushed corn and chicken and spices (I think? I don't even know) wrapped in banana leaves and steamed.

- The standard greeting. No matter where you are, if you enter a room to join people for a meeting, for work, etc., every person gets a kiss on the cheek. And the same goes for when you leave. It makes me smile to see people on the subway giving each other kisses when they get off.

- The fact that everyone thinks I'm younger than 28. :) Maybe they're lying, but I don't know, and I don't care.

¡feliz año nuevo!

2008-01-03T15:14:00.000-08:00

It’s been awhile and I apologize – we still don’t have Internet at my apartment, which is proving to be more annoying than you would think. I find myself at Starlight, a local Starbucks rip-off, drinking pop and using their Internet for three hours at a time. They love me.

I went right back to work after Christmas, doing a lot of driving. The tias mostly laugh at me, while I frantically try to figure out if they’re telling me to turn right or left. I just learned yesterday the words for “turn” as in “Do I turn here?” and to brake, and to park. It’s a little scary that I’ve gotten by this long…

New Year’s was pretty fun... A bunch of volunteers went camping up north in the desert – I decided to pass on that. My friend Dana and I made dinner with my roommate, Manuel, and his friend Lucas – yum-o. We had barbequed ribs, mashed potatoes, veggie salad (my Uncle Nick’s famous recipe) and had ice cream with strawberries for dessert. A fabulous end to 2007!

I’m getting a little bit better with the Spanish, but it’s probably the biggest headache for me here. I constantly revert to English in my head, and write a lot in English, (and I’m lazy) and don’t try to understand every word. My vocab is not that great, so combine that with people who speak fast and a need to visualize each word, and you’ve got a glimpse of my problem. Sometimes I just feel like I’m deaf and dumb.

I did go to the pool last Saturday with Manuel, and it was awesome. There are a couple of mountains here in Santiago (well, I don’t know if I’d call them mountains next to the Andes)– Santa Lucia is gorgeous and San Cristobal has a zoo on the top and two pools. We walked to the closest pool, which was good because it was so hot and swam/got sunburned all afternoon.

I worked mornings yesterday and today at the baby house. The kids are great – and we’re getting four new babies next week – hurray! I say a lot of “ Adonde vas?” (Where are you going?) and “No me muerde!” (Don’t bite me!) and “Que bien/feo” (How nice/ugly!).

Dana (another volunteer) and I went to the mall on Saturday, after we had been at a vineyard – which was fantastic btw – and we were talking about Chile and volunteerism and how different (i.e., wealthy) it is here in Chile compared to Haiti and the Dominican Republic – where we’ve both worked. Sometimes it’s hard to explain to Chileans why I’m here, because it’s not like there aren’t people with disposable income or time to help the kids we’re helping here. But, I talked with Logan about it for a while on Tuesday and we agreed that no matter where you are, if you’re able to help, it’s a good thing. Maybe we’ll inspire more Chileans to volunteer, or maybe we’re just here to love on kids – either way, I’m okay with that.

So, it’s about 7 pm right now, light outside, and I’m having a beer on the patio at a bar outside of my Spanish school. I love Michigan (seriously!) but I did just get an email about my housemates back home wanting to use the snowblower, and honestly, it makes me really glad that I’m here (sorry Lindsay/Kate/everyone else in the snow!). I keep thinking about what’s next for me when I get home, but at the same time, just trying to enjoy every day. A few years ago, I was deciding between two jobs – one in California and one in Michigan, and my wise mother reminded me that we’re given one day at a time, for a reason. So I’m trying to make the most of every 24 hours. We’ll see where I end up next.

lunch

2007-12-26T12:45:00.001-08:00

it's been a long (but momentous) day.

it was cold last night and i slept with the balcony door open and froze. considering that i'm not feeling that great, it wasn't so smart. then i discovered that my roommate has eaten my food. and not anything like salt or rice or butter, but my cheese. my cheese! chileans do not have great cheese, so i forked over the dinero for alouette. and she ate it. i don't know how i'm going to confront her in spanish, but i have to, if i want my cheese from now on. i'll let you know how that goes.

then i was off to work. my commute consists of a three minute walk to the metro, about 30 minutes on the train including one line change, and then a 15 minute bus ride and a 10-12 minute walk to the house. it's not so bad, but the worst part is the dogs. there is a serious stray dog problem here, and packs of them roam all over the place (except for my neighborhood, which is nice). so usually, on my walk to the baby house, i pass at least 5 to 10 dogs. the trick is to not make eye contact. seriously. i know at least a couple of other volunteers who got chomped.

a couple of hours playing with the babies, and then the head tia asked me to get the car out. whoa - my first day on my own, and i drove all the way into providencia, which is about a 30 minute drive, to a hospital. my first couple of shifts into first gear were a little jerky (the tias were laughing) but the rest went really well. i was very proud of myself!

whenever i work the morning shift, part of the job is picking up lunch from another hogar. hogar esperanza is the name of the organization that runs two homes - one for older kids and one for the babies. the home for the older kids (casa grande) is not that far from the baby house, and they generally cook a lot of food - over 20 kids live there. so every day, someone from the baby house heads over to casa grande and picks up lunch. usually, it's pretty good. i've had mashed potatoes and tuna cakes, rice/mashed potatoes with fried eggs (that was not so great), spaghetti, stew with chickpeas and veggies, and today we had rice with grilled meat from the christmas fiesta yesterday. it wasn't bad. however, everyone puts mayonnaise on everything. mayo on rice, mayo on spaghetti, mayo on meat, mayo on corn. on everything. it's a little strange.

now, after three attempts to get cash from atms, i'm at a coffee shop close to my apartment, drinking fanta light and eating a donut. life is good. :)

a few pictures

2007-12-23T13:06:00.000-08:00

at the top: la feria - basically a crazy farmer's market. they're all over the city and they're awesome.

the andes, on the way to one of our institutions

my friend's neighborhood...

familia

2007-12-21T18:11:00.000-08:00

I thought a lot about families today. Here in Santiago, I have a "family" of sorts - for the most part, it's the other volunteers. But I also met a Chilean family on Sunday that I'll be hanging out with once a month to learn about Chilean culture and to experience life as part of a Chilean family. Marta and Luis are great - they have four kids, all teenagers or older. Our first meeting was a little awkward as they speak very fast Spanish, and I still don't understand much. She was babysitting a friend's 3 year old, and I mistakenly asked, first, if he was her son (she laughed), and then if she was a grandma (she laughed again). :)

Today was a good day at the baby house. Actually, this whole week has been pretty interesting. I've been driving around (not with any babies yet, because I still have to get my international driver's license), and it's been really good. I still have to practice on a hill somewhere, and figure out the handbrake trick, but other than that, I'm pretty comfortable with the stick shift. If anyone wants to buy a 99 Jetta when I get home, let me know...

So back to today - this morning I could tell something was going on. It turned out that two of the kids went to live with adoptive parents today. I know people that have been adopted, I know people that have adopted kids, but to be there, and to see it happen was so beautiful. I'm not sure how else to describe it, so I'll just leave it at that.

Hope you're all doing well - and getting ready to celebrate a great Christmas!

diff'rent strokes

2007-12-19T10:53:00.000-08:00

it's not that i didn't expect this, but i am slowly adjusting to things down here. for example, today i wanted to make spaghetti for lunch. but the lighter for the stove didn't work and i couldn't find matches. i couldn't even figure out which knob was turning on the gas for which spot on the stove. um, could have been a little dangerous. (like the time i tried to pull a burning piece of toast out of the toaster with a metal knife at the hostel. whoops!)

in the grocery store, when you buy produce, you bag it and then take it to a special man by the scale - he weighs it and slaps a price sticker on the bag for you (and mumbles something strange in spanish - i always smile and say gracias really fast, in case i'm not supposed to say thanks). i got all the way to the front of the line at the grocery store today and realized i had forgotten to do that for my lone onion. ugh...

and the laundry. i have two loads - light and dark. all washed with cold water, all dries on a rack. it's great - it goes pretty fast, but it's so different than home. no clothes dryer, no dishwashers, no air conditioning... i don't know how i'm making it!! *cue the melodramatic music*

and by far the weirdest thing is the terrible american 80s music they play in the grocery stores. lately, it's been a mix of that and christmas music - some in spanish, some in english. but the rest is terrible - mostly because i end up singing along and it's a little embarrassing that i know so many of the lyrics.

a couple of other things going on... i have had the weirdest issue with my sinuses/ears lately. it's like my ears have popped and i hear everything the same, even my own breathing. it's strange because it started on sunday, right before church and was the worst when i was in church. then i had it the past couple of mornings when i was at work - and it usually goes away in the afternoon. it's especially significant for me, because listening to people is so critical right now. especially at church :)

and, at the baby house, we just got a new baby this week (well, she had been in the hospital for a week or so, so it's the first time she's at the house permanently) and her mom had been an alcoholic. she has a lot of catching up to do, so please be thinking of her over the next couple of months!

the shakes

2007-12-18T13:11:00.001-08:00

saturday afternoon, i had just moved into my apartment about three hours before, my roommates and i were watching tv, and the entire building started to shake. of course, i´ve never felt an earthquake before so i think it´s cool. my roommates started freaking out! the girl who was moving out is from california and she said it was the longest quake she´d ever felt. and we´re on the seventh floor of our building...

monday morning. i´m sleeping, it´s about six thirty, and the whole building starts shaking hard again! i bolted out of bed and into the living room, but my roommates didn´t get up. according to the news, it was a 5.4 on the richter scale... wasn´t as cool this time.

hopefully no more temblors...

moving day

2007-12-15T04:40:00.000-08:00

hurray! in a few minutes, i'm packing up my bags and moving to a new apartment. the hostel has been nice, but it will be great to unpack my suitcase. two weeks out of a suitcase is not okay. i'm living with three other chilenos in a nice part of santiago - and they only speak spanish. wish me luck. usually, i try speaking spanish to people, and they end up trying out their english on me. i stopped in a university the other day to ask about a student housing board, and the security guard took me to the english department. :)

my first week of work went pretty well. i was scheduled to be at two institutions on mondays and wednesdays, and unfortunately, ended up lost in the worst neighborhood in santiago between the two on wednesday afternoon. it was hot, i was tired, my toe hurt and i felt really sorry for myself and cried. then i finally found the institution and cried again when i told everybody what happened. so we made a couple of schedule changes and now i'm going to one institution to work with older girls on the computer on one day, and staying at the baby house the rest of the week.

the baby house is good - everyone in the neighborhood knows where it is, which is cool. the organization itself doesn't seem to be struggling, although i know they can always use extra hands and disinfectant for toys (the kids are always sick!). this week i worked with christy, another ve volunteer, and a couple of chilenos came in on different days to help out as well. the kids love everybody. when things get a little out of control, we watch barney and other kiddie videos. i'm learning a lot.

a chilean word of the day for you: bacan (with an accent on the second "a") it means cool...

chilena (well, almost)

2007-12-11T18:53:00.000-08:00

pictures - hurray!

every day is busy here, so apologies for the random posting. we had a despedida (going away party) for a volunteer on sunday afternoon, and by the time i got up and ready, went grocery shopping and baked cookies with Dana, we had to go and didn't get back until late...

so my first day of work was yesterday, and it was good, but busy. i didn't get to drive just yet, but you will all know as soon as it happens. i'm sure. i did visit a home where i'll be teaching girls about computers, and for the first day, we just walked around and got to talk to the girls. of course, they were playing volleyball, and i jumped in the game with flip flops on. not so smart... entonces, broken toe.

i'm still on the hunt for an apartment, looked at one last night and am looking at another tomorrow night. the travel times are crazy long, so i'll leave tomorrow by 7:30 and not get home until close to 10. at least they feed me well at the baby house... more on that later.

so here is the december 2007 class: quique, shara, logan, josh, dana and me. good lookin' crowd... :)

hope you're all doing well!

brief

2007-12-08T03:23:00.000-08:00

only a few minutes this morning before we take off for a little repair project at one of our institutions... a few interesting things about chile:

- they clean the sidewalks (brush the trash/leaves away) with big palm branches
- the food is generally pretty bland (lots of rice/pasta)
- they add "po" to everything and it has no meaning, e.g., sipo, nopo, yapo
- they do not drink coffee, they drink nescafe (aaaahhhh!!!)

i start work on monday, that's when i'll learn how to drive... ha ha ha. please, cross your fingers for me!

days like this

2007-12-05T19:29:00.000-08:00

We met with a director from Harvard today who runs a Latin studies institution here in Santiago, and talked about the Chilean education system, the political structure, gender issues - I guess you could say it was a crash course in Chilean sociology? Then we went to the park and learned Chilean slang for lame and whatever (fome y filo)... Tomorrow we visit an institution and have a party tomorrow night celebrating VE's fourth year.

There are times during the day that I'm a little lost or frustrated with the language, but I could not be more excited about being here. I walked to the grocery store this morning, just feeling thankful - for the opportunity to be here, for the beautiful weather, for whatever it was in my life that motivated me to come here, for the people who are supporting this, both here in Santiago and back home. The last few years have been better preparation than I realized...

Orientation

2007-12-04T15:23:00.000-08:00

It's been a good first couple of days. Well, it's only been two days, it's beautiful and I get to speak a lot of English with other volunteers, but it's been a good transition...

Yesterday we had several presentations - a lot in Spanish - but I made it through. It's a good way to make yourself learn as fast as possible. We also had a scavenger hunt around the city (we'd actually walked a lot of it the night before) but it was still interesting. My favorite part was the top of Santa Lucia, which has a great view of the city. Well, actually maybe my favorite part is in the picture. :)

Here

2007-12-02T07:34:00.000-08:00

Have only had a couple of "what am I doing??" moments so far :)

I met another volunteer in the airport in Atlanta, and we shared the plane down to Chile with a very large group of elderly folks getting ready to go on a cruise. Good times. I sat next to Raquel, a woman from Chile who now lives in Denver - she is visiting her son in Santiago, and was nice enough to help me stumble through my broken Spanish.

We got in this morning around 10, made it through customs with only one invitation to go dancing later, and now I'm sitting at Hostal Sammy having something to eat before we get in our room. Yes, our room. Six of us new volunteers in one room for the week. Fortunately, the hostel is pretty nice with a nice patio, lots of shade and free wi-fi.

And for all you Michiganders... it's beautiful. Flowers, sun, green leaves everywhere. It's hot! I'll post pictures soon...

Babies and learning to drive

2007-11-28T11:40:00.000-08:00

So I found out yesterday that I'll be working with babies for the next few months - kids from a few days to two years old. The home is called Hogar Esperanza: Casa de Lactantes, and the goal is for each baby to be adopted. So excited - but here's the catch: part of the job involves driving the kids to preschool or to doctor's appointments. In a car with a manual transmission.

I don't know how to drive stick just yet (I've practiced a couple of times, stalling in McDonald's drive-thru, of course) - Christy, a current volunteer will teach me - but this is going to be interesting. I'm the girl you see on the road, talking on the phone, drinking coffee, putting on chapstick, reaching in the backseat for a CD, driving with her left foot up on the seat, because she clearly does not have to shift (or has no fear of accidents??). SO not happening in Santiago...

Mi hermana

2007-11-20T12:56:00.000-08:00

One person I will miss for three months. Lynn and I talk almost every day, live six houses from each other, borrow clothes, fight, have lunch together, laugh at each other and keep each other in check. I'll miss ya feef!

Soon

2007-11-19T14:15:00.000-08:00

Less than two weeks. I don’t think I ever really thought I would do this, but yeah, I’m on my way. Working with kids in Santiago, Chile for a few months (at least) and adjusting to life in another continent, country, culture. Learning Spanish as fast as I can, and trying as hard as possible not to give in to the temptation to lapse back into English whenever possible. Hopefully traveling with other volunteers or friends, and experiencing life to the nth degree.

What will I do when I get back? I have no idea. Definitely have options, definitely have responsibilities in Grand Rapids, but nothing locked into place. I can’t predict how I will have changed by the time I get back, so in the words of my wise mother, I’m taking things one day at a time. Lord knows I understand that patience is a virtue… and besides, right now I’m still working on a packing list.